you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
