Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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