I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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