somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The adults are the big ones right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
