i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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