I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
