Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
