It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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