I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
