Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
