party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
