question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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