i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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