i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
