her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
