I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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