We're facebook friends in real life
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
