Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
