note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
