that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
