She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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