If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
