I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
