he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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