My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
