I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
