So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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