I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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