Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
