I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
