I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
