He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
