U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
