well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
