whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
