so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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