I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize