Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
