I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize