Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
