Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
