9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
