There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
