"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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