What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
