High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dear god my vagina.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
