Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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