we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
