Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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