I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize