She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
