I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
