I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
