i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I look better un-naked...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
