I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
