The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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