Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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